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•    Deya Directive 3: Respect. Remember that he had kids before he met you. You should respect the fact that he’s being honest and upfront with you about his situation. Moreover, respect that he’s a man that is serious about taking care of his responsibility.Think about it. If the two of you had kids, wouldn’t you want him to honor his children regardless of the women that enter his life?

Finally, Xmas Baby, I’ve got to keep it real DIRECT with you. You are staying true to your name and acting like a BABY. All relationships require some understanding and compromise at some point.  If you only want to be with him when things are easy, then you have to ask yourself, do I really want to be with him or do I just want him to do what I want him to do when I want him to do it?

Trust me, there are plenty of men out there who can give you gifts, but that doesn’t mean they’ll give you their heart. If in fact you have his heart and he has yours, then cherish that because TRUE LOVE is the gift that keeps on giving! Nevertheless, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you that he’ll consider that this is an important holiday for you and do something thoughtful to demonstrate he cares, even if it’s non-monetary.

Deya “Direct” Smith is a lead producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the best-selling author of Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go (!  Deya is a life-changing coach, writer and speaker. If you have a question about life, love or relationships email

DEAR DEYA: What If Your Sweetheart Can’t Afford to Get You a Christmas Present?  was originally published on

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