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Activist Van Jones

Do you seem to date men who just can’t get their act together? Men who, if you weren’t there packing their lunch and dropping them off, would probably skip work, or night classes or whatever their responsibilities are? It’s no coincidence: these guys look for you. But, what’s more alarming is that you look for them.

Here are a few reasons why that may be…

You don’t want to grow up

For some women, dating a guy who is always ten steps behind her allows her to ignore the reality that she is 30 steps behind everyone else her age. If you’re not going after the job that you should, or you’re struggling to finish school—whatever it might be—you might take comfort in having someone around who makes you always feel like the responsible one in comparison to him.

You might not feel worthy of someone better

You might fear that a grown up man wouldn’t want you anyways. Even if you are trying hard to get ahead in life, you might be ashamed to date a man who is ahead while you’re still struggling to start that company, or get that job or open that restaurant.

You rather forget gender roles

You need someone who will pull you up, not someone who, granted, boosts your ego because they are less successful than you but who will pull you down. Also, men like helping women. It’s in their nature to be the provider and the reality is that men judge women by their financial/career success far less than women judge men by that. A man isn’t going to reject you because you’re not a CEO yet. Your ambition will be enough for him.

Read more at MadameNoire.com

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