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I need to share this for those that may have been grappling with their emotions this Father’s Day. My mother and father were married. He lived with us until I was around 5. I never recall hearing my parents fuss or cuss. They just broke up. After that my Dad was not a regular part of my life. My mother took care of me. I was doted on and spoiled rotten. I can’t recall too many things I wanted as a child that I did not get. When I got to a certain age, I criticized my father for not being a regular part of my life. Who checked me? MY MAMA! She would never allow me to say a bad word about my father and told me in time I would understand. As time passed, I came to understand just as my mother had said. When my father passed, my Brother-In-Law eulogized him and said some of the most profound words I have ever heard. Although I was not angry or bitter towards my father, these words gave me complete closure. He said, people do the best they can with the information they have. If a person has no reference point for how to be someone or something they can only do their best with what they know. He also said, and this blew me away, “SOMETIMES THE GREATEST ACT OF LOVE A PERSON CAN SHOW YOU IS REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM YOUR LIFE.” If your father was not in your life or your child’s father is not in your child’s life, please consider this line of thinking. It’s more than a philosophy. It’s the truth. This truth doesn’t excuse absenteeism but it will give you understanding, forgiveness and ultimately peace. I thank my mother for making me honor my father and refusing to allow me to be a hurt little girl that would grow up to be a bitter woman. Hopefully my very personal story blessed someone’s heart. Choose to be healthy and whole.

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