Holiday Hosting: Are You Obligated to Let Family Spend the Night?
The holidays are a time for family, food, and fellowship. But what happens when family overstays their welcome? Let’s talk about Shannon. She’s getting ready to host Christmas dinner again, but this year, there’s a big change: no overnight guests.
Last year, when her family stayed over, things got out of hand. The house was a wreck, and she had to hire a cleaning service to fix it. No one helped clean up, cook brunch, or even offered to chip in. So this year, Shannon is doing things differently. She booked hotel rooms for everyone down the street and made it clear that her guest rooms are off-limits. Now, the family is upset, feeling like she’s ruining the holiday spirit. This brings up a major question about holiday hosting etiquette: if you host dinner, are you also required to host for the night?
The short answer is no. Your home is your sanctuary. While opening it up for a holiday meal is a generous act, it doesn’t automatically mean you’ve signed up to be an innkeeper. Hosting Christmas dinner is a significant undertaking on its own, involving hours of planning, cooking, and cleaning. Adding overnight guests to the mix multiplies the work, expense, and stress. If past experiences have shown that your guests are not respectful of your space or your efforts, setting boundaries is not just your right—it’s necessary for your peace of mind.
The family’s reaction, while understandable, highlights a common source of family holiday drama. They may feel rejected or that a tradition is being broken. However, Shannon’s decision wasn’t made to be malicious. It was a direct response to her family’s previous behavior. She even went the extra mile to arrange and pay for hotels, which is a very considerate solution.
Ultimately, hosting is a gift, not an obligation. If you’re considering hosting for the holidays, be clear about your boundaries from the start. If you’re not comfortable with overnight guests during the holidays, it’s perfectly fine to say so. You can suggest nearby hotels or offer to help find accommodations. Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and ensure everyone can still enjoy the celebration together, without turning the host’s home into a post-holiday disaster zone.
