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Whether you’re looking for that special someone or not, we can all stand to increase the quality of our lives by improving ourselves.

What area of your life could benefit from a tune up?

running hugLove Yourself More

Loving yourself is about respecting what you put in your mind, your body and your spirit. The more you love yourself, the more emotionally healthy people you will attract.

Get Some Identity Capital

Clinical psychologist Meg Jay articulates “identity capital” as something that adds value to who you are. It could be an internship, getting your start-up launched, going for that trek around the world — any initiative that builds character will later be desired.

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Understand Your Personality

The top reason blamed for divorce is money, but that’s incorrect, it’s actually the inability to problem-solve. Working through issues is solely based on communication skills. Effective communication stems from our personality.

Strengthen Your Belief System

Our belief is our reality. If you know your belief system (about marriage) needs support, I suggest beginning with monitoring what content you intake (via TV, blogs, etc.) and whom you surround yourself with.d2189ec75688e2151eefb578aa4d2443_400x1000

Expand Your Social Circle

Adding what is called “weak ties” (friends of friends of friends) to your social circle is documented as the most effective way to realize new life opportunities, including jobs and a significant other. Focus on expanding your circle now.

Know Your Values

Creating your “values list’ is the most important exercise you can do when thinking about compatibility in a partner. Your values are your guiding principles, akin to your personal rulebook. If you try to live with someone who has a different set of rules, it’s not going to work. Spend time fully understanding what you value most (and why.)

Work On Your Vulnerability

The bottom line is, you can’t love without first being vulnerable. Putting yourself in positions of vulnerability in other areas of your life will help exercise this “muscle.”

Be Intentional

Approach your love life as intentionally as you do your work. Choose who and what you want in a relationship rather than just making it work with whoever chooses you.

Get a Mentor

I can’t say enough about the growth that comes from mentorship, whether it’s for romance, business or just life in general..

Get the full list at Essence.com

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