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Have you ever had someone stop by your house unexpectedly? It’s the worse when you’re not prepared for company.

It’s embarrassing. You and your house look like a mess. Once you peak out of the window, you find yourself doing the house shuffle. You know: when you run as fast and quietly as you can to hide the dirty dishes, prop up the pillow and remove all of the inappropriate things that might be out and about.

On one hand, you find yourself half irritated because it’s rude to stop by unannounced and on the other hand, you’re apologizing for the condition of your residence. I’ve certainly been guilty of it. And we say things like, “Oh, my house isn’t usually this messy” or “Give me a second to get myself together.”

Now, regardless of how much you tidy up with the quickness, you are not completely comfortable. You can’t wait for them to leave because you were caught off guard. When they arrived, it threw off your rhythm. And suddenly you were uncomfortable in your own space. I am sure you would agree that being in that state is not ideal for company.

So why then, on the occasions when you pray for the ideal lover to come into your life or, when you’re pressing your companion for a deeper, more committed relationship; would you invite them into your house without you first doing the necessary house cleaning – emotionally, spiritually, physically and financially? You should want to be comfortable in your personal space before inviting others in.

When you don’t take the time to do your own house cleaning, people may actually come over to visit, but they won’t stay there very long and under the best circumstances. Why? Because your house wasn’t ready for company.

Deya “Direct” Smith, is a producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the author of the best-selling book “Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go!” ( Deya is a life-style and inspirational speaker.

Guess Who’s Coming Over?  was originally published on