One day two unhappily married men were talking. One man, me, said to the other man “I think it’s us man, I think we just have to love them better. I can’t believe how much my wife loves me. I could never put up with the stuff that she has put up with in order to save our relationship. I have got to figure out how to love her more. I have got to figure out how to express more love toward her. I have got to set a higher priority on making sure that she feels loved.”
This conversation was the birth of the concept of the book “Love Capacity”.
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The average man does not love at the same capacity as the average woman. Generally speaking, we are not as deep, not as passionate, not as dedicated. The problem with the Love Capacity of the man and woman being different is that the woman doesn’t find out about these differences until she is a wife. I have counseled hundreds of couples over the past three years. There was one thing common between most of them:
On the wedding day the wife believes that she is luckiest woman is the world. She is extremely happy with her choice to share her life with. Let’s say that her Love Capacity is a “10”. Let’s say that the husband’s Love Capacity on the same day is a “7”. Within the first three years of marriage the woman finds out that the man doesn’t love her the way that she loves him. His love for her is not as deep, not as passionate, not as dedicated. The disappointment of this new information negatively impacts her capacity to love. While her Love Capacity is on the decline, his Love Capacity is just now starting to increase.