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Dear Gay Best Friend,
When a guy you have been openly dating for close to six years all of a sudden wants you to be a little more open, or shall I say test the waters more, does that mean it’s over? His only excuse is he doesn’t want to hurt me and at times feels as if he is. What am I to think? – He Wants To Have More Fun
Dear He Wants To Have More Fun,
So, are you guys swingers? You stated you’ve been dating openly for six years. What more does he want? You better ask questions and find out. Like, does he want another relationship with another woman? Is he ready to move on? And, what waters he wants to test? Sounds to me like he wants some freaky-deaky things to go on, and you probably are not providing him with it. If you are swingers and he wants to test the waters more, then I think he is ready to move on, if he hasn’t already.
But, if that is not that case, then, uhm, sugar, I can say in your case that your man has already dipped out on you. You say his only excuse is that he doesn’t want to hurt you and at times he feels as if he is. The operative word in your statement is, “is.” That word is present tense, which means he is doing things already, and to avoid getting caught, or caught up, he tells you that he thinks you should test the waters more.
You know your man better than anyone else. You’ve been with him for six years. So, if you are okay with being in an open relationship, then, Ms. Honey, knock yourself out. There are lots of couples that have open relationships, and they are happy. It works for them. Does that mean it will work for you? Well, like I said, you know your man better than anyone else. If you don’t have a problem with him being with other women, yet coming home to you, then knock yourself out.
Now, do I have a problem with it? Hell, yes! Would I let my man see other people? Hell, no! But, then again that is what I would do. But, one thing is for certain is that I appreciate his honesty and his coming forward and mentioning it and asking you to see other people. That takes true responsibility, and honesty. At least he came forward and told you what was going on and how he felt.
Look, Ms. He Wants To Have More Fun, I come from the old school where I would like someone to be monogamous with me, and I with them. If there comes a point where my mate wants to see other people, and he tells me upfront, as in your case, then I would want to have a conversation about it and explore why he is feeling the need to see other people. Ask questions of why he feels the need to be with other people. Is he not satisfied? What does he need emotionally, physically, or mentally? And, perhaps some counseling will help. But, girl, I do know one thing, you better decide what you’re going to do, and how you feel about it because if it’s not the type of relationship you want, then it’s time to let him go and you find someone who wants to be with you, and only you! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend