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Most men hate clingy women (although I suspect it strongly reinforces some of the narcissistic types who will happily string a clingy woman along) and it’s difficult to hold this against them — clinginess is annoying and, in some relationships, can be exhausting for both parties. Of course, women aren’t the only ones who get clingy; men can be clingy as well, and it’s every bit as much of a turn off. Therefore, this article isn’t being written as a guide for females; it’s a guide for anyone who finds themselves acting in this manner. If you’ve been called clingy, take a look at the list below; if any of that sounds like you, you’re probably a bit clingy!

You always call him or her first — and you call all the time.

Sometimes before you’ve even gotten out of bed in the morning. And then loads of other times during the day. The love of your life can’t call you first, because you always beat them to it. Not to mention, you call them so frequently that they could guess it was you calling and be right 98% of the time. Yo — you’re obsessed. Put the phone down for 5 minutes!

You have no life of your own.

Do you spend every bit of your free time with your man? Do you spend most of your day thinking about your next date with your woman? Do you put your friends and hobbies on hold unless your man announces that he’s going out with the boys? Unless you’ve just met this person and are riding that “new love” high, you’re being clingy. And obsessed.

You’re constantly worried about getting dumped.

Insecurity is at the heart of clinginess, so if you’re experiencing this one, you need to think about why. It’s this fear that makes you want to constantly be around the other person, so you can reassure yourself that they are still there and haven’t dumped you.

You’re willing to be bored out of your mind just to spend time with them.

If he tells you that he’ll be spending the weekend reading Dr. Zhivago and won’t be able to talk much, do you then ask if you can drop by to watch him read it? Or maybe you’re more clever than that; maybe you just offer to clean his watch so you can watch him without seeming as obsessed as you apparently are.

You’re not happy on the inside.

Clinginess is a big mix of insecurity, obsession and other self-esteem issues. Men and women who are clingy are rarely happy for more than the initial few moments when they see the person they’re obsessing over, because they immediately start to worry about how they’re going to feel when the date is over.