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Russ Parr Horrorscopes

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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Georgia Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of September 26th, 2022.

 

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Aries: Why are you hiding food from your kids?

Taurus: When everybody knows what you’re going in the bathroom for please do not come back walking slowly.

Gemini: Your man may be ignorant if he proposes marriage to you in a jewelry store where the ring you’re just trying on.

Cancer: It’s your second day in your new job. Yay. But why are you demanding a raise?

Leo: Have a talk with your grandmother if she keeps sexting your ex.

He’s your ex. You don’t want him

Virgo: You are wrong for going to your 10-year high school reunion just to fight some people who did you dirty?

Libra: You’re in the backseat of a police car. Please stop telling people at stoplights that you’re just doing a ride-along.

Scorpio: Remember the most unattractive people have the cutest kids until they hit about seven or eight and the genes come in.

Sagittarius: You’re a rapper from the 90s. Stop A: trying to remind people who you are and B: stop trying to come up with a new record.

Capricorn: Your man may have been locked up too long if he pulled a gun on a Benihana chef during his presentation,

Aquarius: Your five-year-old just slap the crap out of you in public. You know you in the hood when everybody is offering to up his ass for you.

Pisces: You don’t eat the swine with one notable exception: Bacon because it don’t count

 

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Russ Parr Morning Show’s Daily Horrorscope For September 26th, 2022  was originally published on blackamericaweb.com