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Russ Parr Horrorscopes

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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Tanisha Nicole keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of August 2nd, 2022.

 

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Aries: Take your kids out of that Christian School if the science teacher is keeping it too real

Taurus: Remember when you approach Dave Chappelle in public to tell them how disappointed you are with him? He’s probably not gonna care.

Gemini: Try not to let it ruin your day if you’re trending for a not-so-good reason.

Cancer: You may not be that good of a cook if everybody prefers your white friends’ chicken.

Leo: Might be inappropriate to buy your new girl a sex toy after the first date. You might want to wait until the second date maybe?

Virgo: Your great-grandmother only likes to date criminals. Why she keep asking you for Donald Trump’s number?

Libra: Stop doing your own makeup when you consistently look like a raccoon after you’ve finished applying it.

Scorpio: If your new potential man can’t remember the name of his kids and he asked to go to Instagram and Facebook to remember. Don’t go further with that relationship.

Sagittarius: You just met the man of your dreams online until you asked him what he did for a living. And he said that one dreaded word: Consultant.

Capricorn: Why is it the person that needs to watch their own diet is always telling you to put something down and you don’t need to eat that?

Aquarius: Your man is not clever if he thought the Taliban was a singing group

Pisces: Where are you hiding food from your dog?

 

READ MORE STORIES ON BLACKAMERICAWEB.COM:

Russ Parr Morning Show’s Daily Horrorscope For August 2nd, 2022  was originally published on blackamericaweb.com