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Russ Parr Horrorscopes

Source: Reach Media / Reach Media

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It’s time for another reading of the “Daily Horrorscope,” where Alfredas keeps it real by telling every astrological sign the harsh truth about themselves for today’s date of May 9th, 2022:

Get the cliff notes below!

Aries: Why are you trying to borrow someone’s new car for the weekend?

Taurus: Why are you at a wedding all drunk and sloppy? Hey, you don’t want to get married?

Gemini: Why are you using your cell phone to call your child in the next room?

Cancer: Your new man probably didn’t really want to make love to you. If he says he just sprained his finger while trying to open the condom package.

Virgo? Your man may be slow if you thought GPS was the delivery service.

Libra: It’s a great thing you’re teaching your child how to wipe properly. Oh, the bad thing. He’s 40

Scorpio: You thought you were in love until your woman dropped you for being drafted in the fourth round.

Sagittarius: You’re meeting someone from the internet and he asked if it’s you when he sees you, you must really be good with filters.

Capricorn: Your new man may be a little sensitive if he’s crying during a Lil Nas X song.

Pisces: You may have a hygiene problem. If you bring a whole new meaning to the term, “dirty blonde.”

Russ Parr Morning Show’s Daily Horrorscope For May 9th, 2022  was originally published on blackamericaweb.com