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Stop feeling guilty for taking some time away from your stressors or for doing something nice for yourself that makes you feel good. Taking moments for yourself helps you to reconnect with your innermost being. Rest and time alone are literally fuel to rejuvenate your tank. Remember how, in the introduction of this book, I shared that I needed to take time to get away from the things and people that took too much energy from me? Well, that process only lasted a week, but it went a long way and is still going. It was just what I needed to get clear, focused and refueled.

Let this serve as a notice for you to release yourself from guilt, shame or self-deprecation. Stop and sit down. Do it. Make no excuses and make no apologies. As one mother put it, when you’re frustrated, tired, and your emotions are high, sometimes taking a break from your child will save their life.

DEYA DIRECTIVE: Bless yourself with rest, relaxation and a good time. Not only will it increase the quality of your life, but, as a result of your being good to yourself and feeling good about it, you will ultimately be in a better position to enhance each life that you touch.

QUESTION:  I want to hear from you. What areas of your life do you need to pay more attention to and take care of better?  Share your comments and tell me what you’re going to do differently.

Deya “Direct” Smith is a lead producer on the Tom Joyner Morning Show and host of Girlfriend FM & Beyond the Studio celebrity interviews. She is also the best-selling author of “Touch Yourself, 30 Ways to Live, Love and Let Go!” ( Deya is a life-changing coach, writer and speaker. If you have a question about life, love or relationships email

Fill’er Up  was originally published on

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