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I am getting married soon, and that means I have to change. How did I learn this? Well, my fiancee told me so (which means it must be true). And as if to reinforce it, our pre-marital counselor (who I’ve decided gives hand signals to my fiancee during our sessions) has also told me that I must change. I’m all for change. I mean…I’m for Obama and his whole message is about change, so I’m down with the whole change thing. My problem is…I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me the way I am.

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Luckily for me, I don’t have to figure it out. My fiancee has put me on notice that I am, apparently, too linear and not emotional enough. Because the therapist knew I wasn’t sure about my lady’s assessment, she confirmed this for me. I have to think more with my heart and less with my brain. On top of being too linear, I’m also a first-class jerk. This hasn’t been confirmed by the therapist yet, but my fiancee is just about sure of it and, since she’s sure, I’m sure. Granted, she hasn’t admitted it to me. In fact, she tells me she doesn’t think I’m a jerk all the time. Yet, given the option during any given situation to think the best of me or the worst of me, she thinks the worst. I’ve stopped fighting it. As Popeye would say, I yam what I yam.

Being engaged isn’t all bad. It’s nice having someone in your corner who’s always there for you (as long as you do what they want). I’ve also really gotten into learning more about myself and my inability to communicate. The best part, though, is having a whole new family whose rules and regulations you have to learn so you don’t mistakenly offend anyone by showing up late to a sit-down brunch on Mother’s Day. Being engaged is grand!

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