When boys behave badly and go unchecked with a “boys will be boys” excuse, the stage is set for the norms of male behavior. These same young men will one day be boyfriends, husbands and fathers. If we instill in them positive ways to value and treat women at an early age, those lessons will last a lifetime and affect the lives of many women they come in contact with through the years.
Here are a few ways to help the process:
Speak Up
If you see something sexist or demeaning to women on television or in the media, acknowledge it and discuss it. Is a swimsuit calendar demeaning to women? Is the nudity in this film exploitative of women? With your wife, open the lines of communication and acknowledge these parts of our society and allow your children to learn about that and determine if they’re appropriate. Many of us grew up with these images around us but had no context because our parents did not discuss them with us. Also, if there’s a news story about equal pay for women, stop and discuss it. Explain to your children that some women do not get paid the same as a man who does the exact same job. Let your children begin to see the world around them for what it is so they can form their own opinions from a foundation of knowledge.
Attitude
Our children do as we do. So, if we set a positive example for how to behave and treat women, our children will likely pick up on it and make it part of their lives as well. By attitude, I mean comments about a woman’s role or abilities. I mean snickers or sneers about lewd comments. I mean sly laughter about jokes or situations involving women that are inappropriate. If you treat your wife as an equal, it will go a long way towards teaching your children to treat women as equals, also.
Gender Roles
In many homes, dads do a fair share of cooking, cleaning and child-raising. But in many homes, those chores and tasks are still predominantly done by women. If you are reluctant to pick up a vacuum cleaner or to scrub a toilet, because you feel that is a woman’s job, you will need to change your thinking. If your sons see you pitching in on the housework, they will never know any differently and it will establish, in your sons’ eyes, that both parents simply contribute to the workload around the house, gender notwithstanding.
